Oliver Ackerman and Danielle Workman are both transgender and are in a T4T, or trans for trans relationship.
They’ve known each other since they were young and shared a little about their relationship, and how they support each other.
Alphabet Soup shares LGBTQ+ Missourians’ stories through portraiture and personal narratives.
Oliver Ackerman: Well, I mean, now we get to have like this really boring domestic life, you know what I mean? Where it's like, we both have jobs – it's really not actually boring, but it's like average, you know?
Danielle Workman: It's kind of wonderful at the same time. Like that often –
Oliver Ackerman: Well, that often isn't like afforded to queer and trans people.
"Because we've known each other for so long, it's kind of like old married couple vibes."Oliver Ackerman
Danielle Workman: It’s not a standard part of the queer experience.
Oliver Ackerman: You went from being beaten by other kids in Russellville to now you have a full-time state job and like, a house, and –
Danielle Workman: I get to live as myself every day. I get to have a place to call my own. I've got somebody that loves me that I come home to. I've got two, two and a half, I guess, cats that I get to come home to every day. The American dream.
Oliver Ackerman: I like that we have like a little domestic life that's just like – I like low stimuli environment, like I get overwhelmed by a lot of noise, and like, you know, it's just, it's easy.
I don't know, we both like sitting down and like getting in Discord – her computer’s in a different room from mine, and we'll just play Stardew Valley in Discord, and like, maybe some of our friends will hop in there too.
And it's just like – I'm much more outgoing than I used to be. But like, ultimately, I think like we both have, like homebody vibes.

“I definitely struggled with my relationship with femininity for a little while. Throughout my life I've had periods where I would exaggerate a feminine presentation or avoid and discredit femininity entirely. Somehow nail polish feels right. But, more than anything, it just looks good on me,” Ackerman said. “I realized that I like femininity, and I think it's fun and I get a lot of joy out of it, but just not as a woman. It's like, I love having the painted nails. I actually still really like the thigh highs to be honest. But it's just not as a girl though. It's just not for me. Not my vibe. Not my aesthetic.”
Danielle Workman: I like energy in this relationship a lot, especially in that – I feel like we're really good balance for each other. Oliver is the gas and I'm the brakes a lot of the time. He keeps us flying and I bring us back down to earth.
I am definitely somebody who – I don't have a very good social battery. I run out of energy very quickly, and I think one of my favorite things about Oliver is that in the time I've known him, he's never been somebody that's like, taking social energy for me to be around.
I can just be around him, and it's just like, I don't know – my cats take more social energy to be around than he does, which that's big for me, that's really big for me. Nobody's like that.
Oliver Ackerman: Sometimes because we've known each other for so long, it's kind of like old married couple vibes.
Danielle Workman: I have been told we have a strange relationship because we have a lot of dynamics that apparently aren't very common – like we have favorite insults for one another.
Oliver Ackerman: No, wait – but it's really cool being trans because I'm really tiny and DJ is much, much taller than me, and so, sometimes I'll be like, “No, I'm just the little guy, you have to carry me carry me to bed, I'm sleepy,” you know?
Laughter
Oliver Ackerman: It's fun.