KBIA News

Alphabet Soup

What radical courage does it take to love in the face of hate? Through portraiture and personal narratives highlighting joy, belonging, found family and meaningful romantic and platonic relationships, KBIA’s Alphabet Soup challenges the notion that Missouri’s LGBTQ+ community is a monolith.Tucked away within the amalgamation of letters that makes up the LGBTQ+ community and the complex identities each represents is joy: rebellious, resistant, radiant. If you have a story you would like to share, visit https://tinyurl.com/LGBTQJoy or contact news@kbia.org.Created by Bailey Stover.

Annalise Caul & Moe Warren: "My queer journey was more like defeating the case of the supposed-tos."

KBIA | By Reporter & Photographer: Bailey Stover, Producer: Kenzie Ripe, Photo Editor: Nick Sheaffer

Published October 18, 2024 at 7:53 AM CDT

Roommates Annalise Caul, left, and Moe Warren sit on Warren’s bed on Wednesday, April 17, 2024, in their shared dorm room at George C. Brooks Hall in Columbia. The pair became close friends during high school when Warren moved in with Caul’s family. In the years since their meeting, the 18-year-olds have watched one another’s queer identities evolve. Moe began using they/he pronouns and came out as trans masculine, nonbinary and demiromantic while Annalise found that pansexual, asexual and aromantic labels fit her best. “You'll always find your people,” Caul said. “No matter how early or late in life, you will be able to get either that one person or those people who are going to accept you and love you for who you are.”

Annalise Caul and Moe Warren are both students at the University of Missouri and have been friends since high school. Moe is trans masculine and non-binary and Annalise is an asexual woman.

They spoke about how their friendship and their understanding of their own identities has flourished since high school.

Alphabet Soup shares LGBTQ+ Missourians’ stories through portraiture and personal narratives.

Annalise Caul: We hated PE, and we had, like, a small group of friends in our PE class. So, we would all just talk. During any moment we had to talk, we were talking to each other.

Moe Warren: We just—high school. Had enough classes together, had enough in common. Just went for it. I was not having a great time, so I left my dad's house, and I moved in with Anna and her mom and her sisters.

Artwork and various knicknacks decorate the space on and around Moe Warren’s desk on Wednesday, April 17, 2024, in the room he shares with Annalise Caul at George C. Brooks Hall in Columbia. Warren is transmasculine and nonbinary, and Caul was with them as they came into their own identity. “I love my gauges. Like, they're not like a typical gender affirming thing, but they make me feel so much more masculine and myself,” Warren said. “There's nothing like the feeling of wearing my binder and knowing that I'm passing and going to the Mizzou Market or something, and a guy treats me like a guy. I'm like, ‘OK, yeah, I'm gonna drop my voice, and I'm gonna talk to you like a guy because you think I'm a guy, and this is delightful.’ But, I guess just the little things, like just kind of blending in into the masculine sphere instead of sticking out in the feminine one and feeling like it's wrong.” “I'm definitely glad that I've gotten to experience some of the first times that you passed fully to some people,” Caul said. “It's exciting,” Warren said. “It's a fun thing to happen.”

Annalise Caul: My mom was super big on making sure that me and my two older sisters felt super comfortable with the fact that people can like anyone they want to like. And so that like opened my eyes up to the LGBTQ+ community.

In middle school, like, I was never attracted to anyone. So, I'm like, "Maybe I'm just not attracted to men specifically." So, I kind of—maybe I lean more toward the pansexual side, which is where I ended up landing at. And, realized, like, I just don't care what a person looks like. I just care, like, more about personality and stuff.

But, then I made it to college, and I'm like, "Oh, I don't like people much at all." I’m like, "Well, maybe I'm not into anyone." And so then I realized, "Well, I could just be asexual," but I realized, "Oh, maybe I'm just aromantic and don't like anyone."

But that’s, like, kind of scary for me to think about because, like, I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. So, the fact that I might just not ever want to be in a relationship with anyone is kind of like—still trying to figure that out.

Posters and drawings hang from a bulletin board above Annalise Caul’s desk on Wednesday, April 17, 2024, in the room she shares with Moe Warren at George C. Brooks Hall in Columbia. “I feel like I've learned so much more about myself being separated from my family members,” Caul said of moving away from home to attend MU. “Not like in a bad way where they were holding me back, but just like I was able to really explore the world on my own terms. I wasn't being told what was right or wrong. “I just did not feel like how I felt other people were supposed to feel. And so I’m like, ‘Maybe I’m not into anyone.’ ... I also realized that aromantic was something that might be a label that I might want to give myself. But it was kind of scary for me to think about because I’m a hopeless romantic at heart, so the fact that I might just not ever want to be in a relationship with anyone… I’m still trying to figure that out," said Caul, who is aromantic, asexual and pansexual. “I wanted to be myself and not just someone who was going along with what everyone else was doing. So to find the LGBTQ community was a big thing for me because it felt like where I belonged.”

Moe Warren: My queer journey was more like defeating the case of the supposed-tos. It was just like slowly realizing that I was trying to be somebody that I wasn’t, and, like, kind of step-by-step breaking that down for myself. My body felt different to me, and I was like, "OK, there are parts that feel more like me than other parts."

And just, like, the steps of getting a binder, shaving my head, stuff like that. Just letting people call me "he" was honestly, like, the peak of my queer journey.

I don't think we really put, like, stress on defining our friendship. Don't get me wrong, there's tension and conflict and problems because we live together.

But, like, I don't know. It’s just, like, it felt right. Like, it didn’t—it just kind of slid into place. And, there weren't really issues with it. Like, I guess it was cool for, like, both of us to be able to put those pieces together, like, in kind of our own way, in our own different times.

And, just like, kind of growing up as adults comfortable in our identity, like, going from 14 year olds with nose piercings and crazy parents to, like, 18 year olds in the same dorm. Like, "Yeah, I'm ace," and "I’m trans." Like, it's just—it's just a cool journey.

Annalise Caul: At the end of the day, we are roommates.