Wives Laura Borghard and Kristie Douglas have a large, blended family – with four sons between the ages of 10 and 25 and a relatively new grandbaby. They’ve been married since 2020, and they spoke about the origins of their love.
Alphabet Soup shares LGBTQ+ Missourians’ stories through portraiture and personal narratives.
Laura Borghard: Before we had told our kids that we were dating – Kristie works right up the street, like, on my way home. I lived in this house, and she was working up the street.
And we would like I would drive home, and I would stop at her work.
Laughter
Laura Borghard: Just so we could like, see each other, and like, and, you know, the kids would be in the car, and I would, you know, like jump out, and I'd be like, “Okay, I'll be right back.”
Laughter
And, you know, like that – that we wanted so much to just put our eyes on each other for 30 seconds. We were so just enamored with each other at the beginning, and we still are maybe.
"You just did everything to make this feel like our home, not your home, and you just made everything easy."
To have those little snippets of, like, just sneaking away, stealing a little, little hug and a little – I don't know. I just –
That you wanted me to stop, and I wanted to stop. I wanted to be around you all the time.
Kristie Douglas: I think, for me, I knew that I was in love and that you were a keeper when we moved in together, probably around that time.
You just did everything to make this feel like our home, not your home, and you just made everything easy.
And after we told the kids, I just knew, I was like – because we wouldn't have told the kids if we didn't, if we weren't for sure –
Laura Borghard: Yeah.
Kristie Douglas: – that we were in it for the long haul. We wouldn't have told the kids and once we decided to tell the kids and tell – me, tell my mom and dad, I knew. I knew.
Laura Borghard: It's kind of fun to think about all those beginnings.
Kristie Douglas: Yeah. I was so afraid to tell my parents, like I said – I just internalized it, I thought too much about it, and it was, you know, they were just, you know, they laughed at me.
Laura Borghard: Yeah.
Kristie Douglas: When they found out that I was struggling so bad. They were like, “Why?”
Laura Borghard: And, of course, like, it's not all rainbows and unicorns.
Kristie Douglas: No.
Laura Borghard: But we figure it out.
Kristie Douglas: That's right. Because we're a team.
Laura Borghard: Because we are a team.
Laughter
Kristie Douglas: I'm the coach. Head coach.
Laura Borghard: Yes, you are the head coach.
Kristie Douglas: Thank you –
Laura Borghard: Oh, my gosh.
Kristie Douglas: Assistant.
Laughter
Laura Borghard: We coached our son's fourth grade team –
Kristie Douglas: I told you we were a basketball family
Laura Borghard: and I was like, “You have to coach. You have to be the head coach, because I am not the head coach.”
Laughter
Laura Borghard: We had a – it was an interesting time. I don't think I'm going to talk her into doing it again.
Kristie Douglas: Thank you.
Laura Borghard: But I, we did a good job.
Kristie Douglas: I know we did.
![Caitlin Cunningham laughs while sitting on their couch on Saturday, April 20, 2024, at their home in Columbia. “When you know so much darkness, suddenly the light is so bright,” Cunningham said. “I mean, queer joy will blind you. You should live so brightly that it hurts people’s eyes. Other people should have to put on sunglasses [because] you’re living so brightly.” Cunningham, who is 40 years old, is pansexual, nonbinary and non-monogamous. “You know the big joke is always, ‘Oh, you know you’re non-monogamous when your color-coded calendar is shared with four other people.’ And, it’s true. You have to be on top of your A game in terms of keeping things organized because you’re going to hurt somebody’s feelings otherwise,” Cunningham said. “Yes, it’s difficult. Yeah, you joke about calendars and getting together and having enough energy and everything, but ultimately time and energy are the limiting factors. Love is not the limiting factor.”](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/bd0e168/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1750x1158+0+0/resize/260x172!/format/webp/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F2d%2F59%2F5bde8f414630bd00882735cb327a%2F20240420-bas-queer-joy-caitlin-cunningham-0032.jpg)
![Queer 16-year-old Mason, who uses any and all pronouns, sits down on Tuesday, May 21, 2024, at the Daniel Boone Regional Library in Columbia.
“I was just asking myself, ‘What type of person am I? Who am I to myself?’ Like, when I look in the mirror, ‘Who do I see? Who do I feel like I am,’” Mason said of the questions he asked himself early on in his coming out process. “I think I don't really have those [specific identity labels] for myself. I do see other people around who have those that are in the queer community. But, yeah, for myself, I wouldn't really say I have one.”
“I think [my parents have] been very reassuring in the fact that they accept me for who I am. They still know that I'm their son, and they love me,” Mason said. “And, I can't say that for a lot of other people who have had problems with their identity and just really figuring out who they are. I'm lucky to have that. I'm glad I had that. But, I wish there were more parents or just people out there that were more accepting to this idea [of being queer].”](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/132cd05/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1750x1158+0+0/resize/260x172!/format/webp/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F0d%2Fab%2Fbda94349471cbb8887367225b7cd%2F20240521-bas-queer-joy-mason-graham-0064.jpg)