Debbie Merciers is the Market Manager at the Downtown Poplar Bluff Farmer’s Market. She spoke with the Missouri on Mic team in July.
She spoke about how finding a purpose in helping other mothers who've lost their children has helped her grieve her son Kyle's death in a gun accident.
Missouri Health Talks gathers Missourians’ stories of access to healthcare in their own words.
Debbie Merciers: Well, I'm, I'm definitely changed. I've come to realize that half my heart is gone. It's a struggle. I realized the importance of my other two children, and I realized that I found purpose. It's a daily struggle I have without my son. I am blessed with two other children.
My purpose in this I've met three others, actually four now – mothers who have lost their children, and I reached out to them and I become friends with them and help him do this horrible journey, and so, I figured out that's, that's, that's my purpose.
Besides, of course, you know, being there for my two wonderful children, I help other mothers who've lost their children. I – specifically there, they've all been not – I don't help every single one, but I there's been four that – I don't even know, need to word use the word “mentor,” I just reach out to them and help them get through the first days and the first month and the first years, and we actually become really good friends.
"He was amazing, and he taught me so much. He taught me so much – to live my life, to live life to its fullest."Debbie Merciers
And I would, I've figured out that's my purpose is to help these other mothers try and understand what's going on and help them, guide them through the tragedy that that they're going through, as well.
My son saved five lives, and I can't, I haven't yet figured it out why, why I lost my son. But I know he saved five lives, and I wouldn't say there was any good that's come out of it – there's not, there's not any, any good whatsoever, but I know that I'm here for a reason, and I know I'm supposed to – I've got a purpose and I'm and I'm trying to make the most of that, and that's what I'm doing.
Rebecca Smith: What would you tell him today?
Debbie Merciers: Oh... I’d just tell him how proud I am of him and how much I love him, and he was amazing. One of the three best things in my life. He was amazing, and he taught me so much. He taught me so much – to live my life, to live life to its fullest. Live your life to its fullest because you don't know, you don't know when it's going to be taken from you. You have no idea.
Because our days are numbered, but I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, wasn't, you know, you don't really know that till tragedy hits. So, live your life to its fullest every day. Every day. Even though it's hard to put one foot in front of the other, live your life to its fullest.
