Commentary: Unlikelies | KBIA

Commentary: Unlikelies

May 1, 2020

During the Easter egg hunt my two-year-old grandson announced that he had found a rooster egg.  This got me thinking: What are some fascinating but unlikely occurrences in the political world?  With the help of family and friends, here are some possibilities, and feel free to add to the list:


·      Melania Trump opens a new campaign for children called Be Average.

·      Michelle Obama stars in a MacDonald’s ad eating a Big Mac, large fries and a strawberry shake. 

·      Rachel Maddow hosts a new show on Fox called The Donald Is My Guy.

·      Sean Hannity hosts a new show on MSNBC called Trump Is an Imbecile.

·      Rachel and Sean cohost a new show on PBS called New America Comin’ Atcha.

·      Eric Greitens emerges from seclusion as the new owner of a gym equipment company.

·      President Trump and New York Governor Cuomo spend a day together playing golf.

·      Vice President Pence shows a facial expression.

·      An unemployed Gen Z-er votes for Joe Biden.

·      Alabama Democratic Senator Doug Jones makes gun control and abortion rights the central planks of his reelection campaign.

·      Nancy Pelosi chairs a new federal task force on voter fraud.

·      Governor Parson leaves politics to become minister of a church in the Ozarks and is thereafter Parson Parson.

·      Jared Kushner donates all his wealth to a Palestinian rights advocacy group and becomes a Franciscan monk, taking a vow of poverty.

·      Senator Bernie Sanders gets a buzz cut.

·      Carl Edwards announces a run for Missouri governor.

·      Hillary Clinton vows never again to do a media interview and starts a line of high-fashion clothing.

·      Don Denkenger gets the call right in the sixth game of the 1985 World Series – no, wait: That’s not unlikely – that’s alternative history.  Which reminds me of an encounter I had with a Royals season-ticket holder shortly after the Cardinals won the 2011 World Series.  I was feeling pretty good and reminded him that the Cardinals should have one more title.  He asked me: “What’s the difference between a Cardinals fan and a puppy?”  When I told him I didn’t know he said: “Eventually the puppy stops whining.”