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What radical courage does it take to love in the face of hate? Through portraiture and personal narratives highlighting joy, belonging, found family and meaningful romantic and platonic relationships, KBIA’s Alphabet Soup challenges the notion that Missouri’s LGBTQ+ community is a monolith.Tucked away within the amalgamation of letters that makes up the LGBTQ+ community and the complex identities each represents is joy: rebellious, resistant, radiant. If you have a story you would like to share, visit https://tinyurl.com/LGBTQJoy or contact news@kbia.org.Created by Bailey Stover.

Lydia Bennett: In polyamory 'each of these different relationships kind of fall into a different niche.'

Lydia Bennett, right, sits with their nesting partner, Rynn Bennett, left, and their dog Nimbus, center, on their couch on Wednesday, March 27, 2024, at their home in Columbia. “A nesting partner is just the concept that when people are polyamorous they may or may not live with someone else. And so if you're living with someone else, that's your nesting partner. And it's usually the most stable or the longest term relationship, but it can depend on the kind of relationship structure that you have with people,” Lydia Bennett said. “My primary partner, my nesting partner, really enjoys words of affirmation and physical touch, both of which I could really improve upon, honestly. I think when I'm low stress and doing well mentally, I'm very good at being there and participating in kind of those activities and supporting them. When I'm higher stress, I just kind of shut down to the outside world, which is not really a problem, but unfortunate for them for sure.”
Bailey Stover/KBIA
Lydia Bennett, right, sits with their nesting partner, Rynn Bennett, left, and their dog Nimbus, center, on their couch on Wednesday, March 27, 2024, at their home in Columbia. “A nesting partner is just the concept that when people are polyamorous they may or may not live with someone else. And so if you're living with someone else, that's your nesting partner. And it's usually the most stable or the longest term relationship, but it can depend on the kind of relationship structure that you have with people,” Lydia Bennett said. “My primary partner, my nesting partner, really enjoys words of affirmation and physical touch, both of which I could really improve upon, honestly. I think when I'm low stress and doing well mentally, I'm very good at being there and participating in kind of those activities and supporting them. When I'm higher stress, I just kind of shut down to the outside world, which is not really a problem, but unfortunate for them for sure.”

Lydia Bennett is a pansexual polyamorous person and spoke about how the relationships in their life fulfill them in different ways.

Alphabet Soup shares LGBTQ+ Missourians’ stories through portraiture and personal narratives.

Lydia Bennett: So, my partnerships, kind of, have varied greatly through my life. I currently have what we consider like a “nesting partner.” So, that's my nonbinary partner I've been with the longest time.

A nesting partner is just the concept that when people aren't polyamorous, they may or may not live with someone else, and so, if you're living with someone else, that's your nesting partner.

It's usually the most stable or the longest-term relationship, but it can depend on the kind of relationship structure that you have with people.

And that's been a very interesting relationship because we got together when I was 18, and a freshman in college, and was functionally, you know, cis, het, monogamous, and, of course, our relationship has had to change a lot over time to become what we are today.

Nesting partners Rynn and Lydia Bennett hold hands around Lydia’s pole dancing pole on Wednesday, March 27, 2024, at their home in Columbia. Lydia Bennett said one of the most meaningful communities they have found while living in Columbia has been through Muse Pole Fitness. “They are so accepting there. Not everyone there is technically queer, but it just feels like they are because everyone is so accepting. You know, they all kind of exist outside of those strict gender norms and strict heterosexual roles. And, you know, even friends within that group can show each other affection and it's never frowned upon. And you can always be open and honest about any relationship you're going through. The joys of it can be shared there,” Lydia Bennett said. “Just being able to like exist in a space where you don't have to regulate or make sure you're using the right terms, or kind of suppressing any specific feelings or thoughts that you're having, is really the place that I find them as queer joy. So, just being able to exist as a whole spectrum of humanity in one space, without anyone having to apologize for who they are.”
Bailey Stover/KBIA
Nesting partners Rynn and Lydia Bennett hold hands around Lydia’s pole dancing pole on Wednesday, March 27, 2024, at their home in Columbia. Lydia Bennett said one of the most meaningful communities they have found while living in Columbia has been through Muse Pole Fitness. “They are so accepting there. Not everyone there is technically queer, but it just feels like they are because everyone is so accepting. You know, they all kind of exist outside of those strict gender norms and strict heterosexual roles. And, you know, even friends within that group can show each other affection and it's never frowned upon. And you can always be open and honest about any relationship you're going through. The joys of it can be shared there,” Lydia Bennett said. “Just being able to like exist in a space where you don't have to regulate or make sure you're using the right terms, or kind of suppressing any specific feelings or thoughts that you're having, is really the place that I find them as queer joy. So, just being able to exist as a whole spectrum of humanity in one space, without anyone having to apologize for who they are.”

We met in a dining hall. It was a pretty standard story. We were functionally monogamous for a very long time.

But from the very start, I was always discussing kind of like, what I could see a relationship being in the future and the things about non-monogamy that I didn't even have terms for yet at the time.

And so, that's been able to grow and take off and become so many different relationships over time, as we both grew into different types of people.

It's a great like, supporting foundation for me personally. I moved around a lot when I was young, and that created a habit of moving around still.

So, I plan to kind of move every few years, and they're just going to kind of move with me and follow me around, which is a nice to have that support no matter where I go.

My other main relationship right now is, you know, Anna, who's my girlfriend of about one year now, and we met through the dating apps – because that's the easiest way to meet anyone these days.

But it took off better than either of us probably expected. We've got a lot of chemistry. We really like hanging out and spending time together.

And we both work in the medical field, so sometimes we talk about, you know, the same thing that normal couples talk about, like TV shows and movies, and other times we're talking about psychological research, and, you know, how personality disorders affect people's interactions with each other and relationships with each other and, and what can be done to kind of help them through that.

And so, it's just kind of very different relationship for my primary one because they are a musician, so they don't understand quite as much of the science though they still are happy to listen to me when I talk about work.

I do have another partner who's kind of – or they're a platonic partner, Alexis, and we also met through the apps.

We've got a more casual relationship because we're just at different places in our life. They're a little bit younger than me, they're also nonbinary, but it's always a fun time hanging out. We like to go hiking.

So, each of these different relationships kind of fall into a different niche in my life and help hit another requirement or something else that kind of fulfills my life.

Lydia Bennett is a pansexual, polyamorous person, as well as a resident physician working in emergency medicine. She spoke about how her identity has and hasn’t played a role in her work.

Bailey Stover is a multimedia journalist who graduated in May 2024. She is the creator and voice of "Alphabet Soup," which runs weekly on KBIA.
Rebecca Smith is an award-winning reporter and producer for the KBIA Health & Wealth Desk. Born and raised outside of Rolla, Missouri, she has a passion for diving into often overlooked issues that affect the rural populations of her state – especially stories that broaden people’s perception of “rural” life.
Nick Sheaffer is the photo editor for KBIA's Alphabet Soup. He graduated with a Bachelor's in Journalism from the University of Missouri in May 2024.
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