Kaz and Holly Hazell have been married for seven years, but said it took them a couple of times meeting and missing each other before they got together and started building their life together.
Alphabet Soup shares LGBTQ+ Missourians’ stories through portraiture and personal narratives.
Holly Hazell: I didn't really like boys or girls or notice them until like eighth grade, but all through school, I just knew that I wasn't going to be able to pursue women, be with women.
Unfortunately, family – we had some struggles in the beginning, so I just kind of dated men.
And then once I met Kaz, I knew exactly that she was the one I wanted to fight for. I wanted her.
So, I came out to my mom, and we had a rough time, but with her by my side, we just kind of gave it time for, you know, each side and everything.
But yeah, she's my first girlfriend.
Laughter
Kaz Hazell: Out in the open.
You know, you talk about like being out in the open, that's really the scariest thing as a member of the community, we don't know what's gonna happen – that fear of rejection. “Am I gonna be seen for who I am?” It's really scary.
And so, when you do take that leap, I feel like it all just kind of comes down to when you're ready, but when you find that person you can't, you just gotta go for it and lean on that support that you have around you.
Holly Hazell: Well, when we scoot on back to the beginning – I, when we had met the second time around, I did have a boyfriend, at the time, and just meeting Kaz and talking with Kaz, I don't know, it just sparked an interest in me, and I was like, you know, “I really want to pursue this woman,” like, I would like to see where this would go.
And so that's when, you know, I ended my relationship with my boyfriend and we started – I had, like, moved back home, and then you went home to –
Kaz Hazell: Yeah, I went back –
Holly Hazell: – to California.
RIGHT: Wives Kaz and Holly Hazell flip through pages of their shared journal on Thursday, April 10, 2025, at their home in Ashland, Mo. Since 2015, the Hazells have written back and forth to one another in order to share and preserve memories. “It's so cool to go back and read and relive those moments that you forget about, or just to see what we were going through at the time,” Holly Hazell said. “The journal, I'm so glad that you did that because there's good and there's bad in there, and we can always reminisce, especially if I … can't remember crap anymore later on down the road with all my seven concussions from soccer,” Kaz Hazell said. “I'm glad that you did that for us.”
Kaz Hazell: It was for a trip, and then you watched Layla. So, one of our dogs that we have – our OG, that we call them.
Holly Hazell: Yes, I volunteered. I was like, “Oh, I will watch your dog. I will be there,” like, “whatever you need.”
Kaz Hazell: Yeah, it was one of those things where you really had to, like, put a lot of thought into it, like, if I'd make this step – this is for a lifetime because I am across the country,
But when we showed up and talked – her whole thing of “forgetting” some clothes at my house one night, and I'm like, “Yeah, you're full of it.”
Because I also was, like, dating somebody else too, and I'm like, “You didn't forget anything at my freaking house.”
Holly Hazell: I had to slither in.
Laughter
Holly Hazell: I also brought Casey's pizza and her favorite like coke drink, so…
Kaz Hazell: Yeah, you did. You really did. I still remember that to this day. I'm like, I always will, well, you know, will reminisce – I think any couple wants to reminisce on good times, and like, “Remember when you said that you left your black T-shirt at the house? Pretty sure I never saw it.”
And she did –
Holly Hazell: She doesn’t like to let it go.
Kaz Hazell: – bring me the pizza. That was a game changer. Pizza to my heart, for sure.
Laughter
And the coke, sodas, all of it, you know, it's, yeah, bringing back those memories.
It was so nice to know that when we were going to do it together, it was like on the right terms, right timing.
![Trent Rash sits at his piano on Monday, April 7, 2025, at his home in Columbia. “[My partner David Hall and I] were at this event for Planned Parenthood, raising money, and it's kind of a desert around here, right? We're so lucky to have it here in Columbia. And I said, ‘Anytime we get together like this in a room, and we are with each other, and we're united and we're laughing, that's what queer joy is.’ And it's so important now because it makes people so upset, which is funny to me, that they — but guess what? Guess who's really unhappy? They are. It's not us. They're just unhappy because they see what we have and they can't. I wish they'd find it for themselves because I think they'd back off,” Rash said. “Queer joy is the fact that people have fully embraced and accepted their authentic self. And that is such a burdenless place that you can't do anything but be joyful, you know? … I see trans people. I see non-binary people. I see bisexual people. I see gays, lesbians. They're just exuding who they are. And so, if you're doing that, that's queer joy. It's the intersection of your authenticity and how you're showing up in the world. And I think when those things align, you're going to be joyful, for anyone.”](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/9826378/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1750x1158+0+0/resize/260x172!/format/webp/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F2b%2F95%2F418b4ac54824a63216062dfd1db2%2F20250407-bas-queer-joy-trent-rash-0282.jpg)
