Farming is a common way of life in Shelby County in Northeast Missouri, but farming doesn’t come without it’s challenges. In the last few years, it was found that the county had one of the highest rates of suicide by firearm in the state.
In response to this problem, Lilly White, a licensed clinical social worker, and Jolie Foreman created Shelby County Cares, which is working to understand the problem, providing therapy to the community, training residents on how to identify signs of mental health crisis and finding ways to support all parts of the farm family.
“We can come like as a wraparound and really support the family who is most close to supporting the farmer,” White said. “So the wife – we are feeding them only, you know, with access to all these resources that they have the knowledge to be able to have those personal conversations with their husbands and be able to direct them [to services] when they notice signs."
For the month of May, we're focusing on the health of farmers and farming families.
Lilly White: You're a family unit, but when it is planting and harvest time, that family unit is disrupted by the head of the household being gone a majority of the time. Sunup to sundown and even later than that.
So, the role of the spouse is to kind of manage all the things – the household, the billing, the children, healthcare and then just ensuring that your husband is taking care of himself, as well.
Jolie Foreman: Yeah, and my kids now, they have a better understanding about it because they're older, but often when my son was younger, he would get really crabby at night, and I kind of figured out that, you know, he hadn't seen his dad all day. His dad, you know, will get up at four or five in the morning, and he's gone, and he may come in 10, 11, 12 o'clock at night, and so, just kind of navigating that –
Lilly White: It's like just a lot of putting together the puzzle pieces on how you're juggling and managing time for yourself, for your children when your husband is in the home, and, you know, when he's outside of the home, being occupied by things that he needs to get done for farming and planting and all the things.
Jolie Foreman: And I think one of the coolest things was when we had our first meal prep day, you know, we were in a small area with eight, 10 women, and it was almost like this safe place where we were able to realize we all kind of have those same struggles, and we're able to share those struggles and validate those feelings, and also know that we're not alone.
Lilly White: When we were looking for ways to support the farmer and the farm family, we looked at, you know, first at ourselves – what helps us the most in the springtime, or, you know, at harvest time? Meal prep. Having meals available that are quick and easy to serve the family, to serve the kids, to take to the field even.
And of course, like she said, you know, it was a success. We've done that for two years now, twice now, and it has grown since, and we hope to continue that.
But it also was a safe space for, you know, spouses to kind of talk about the challenges and the struggles that we see within our homes and with our neighbors, and how we can be more of a support to one another to ease some of those stresses.
Jolie Foreman: And then we did a Feed the Farmer event last fall, and that too was to take that stress off of the wife, you know, but to also allow them to enjoy a meal in the field with their family and not have to worry about the dishes when they got back home.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat 988lifeline.org.
To access farmer specific resources, call or text 833.897.2474 for the AgriStress Helpline.
