Lori Jobe is a lesbian who spent much of her life trying “to be straight.” She spoke about how her two daughters played a role in her coming out and coming to terms with her sexuality.
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Lori Jobe: So, I had, again, in my quest to be the straight person – I got married two different times.
I was married for 10 months the first time, and that resulted in the greatest thing I ever did, and her name's Haley. So, I have a daughter from that.
And then I got married a second time, as I met a guy who was like a good friend, and I thought, “All right, I can stand this, this could not, maybe not be so horrible.”
As the kids start getting a little older, and I had a little more time, again, to think and be human, I just again, had that feeling of confined, and “this is not me,” and “what am I doing?”
"I've always been like this... I just didn't know how to come out, and I didn't want to hurt you, and I didn't want to, you know, mess up your life.”
And, also, using drinking as a coping tool landed me in rehab a few times, and it's at that time that I decided to go to this conversion therapy thing.
You went to these classes, and it was led by the most unhappy people I've ever seen in my life. Like they would talk about this joy that I get from God, and I'm like, but you look like you're pissed, like, you look miserable.
And the people that were there, who were like me, I just kept wanting to talk to him and be like, “I don't think this is right.”
And I had mastered the fine art of hiding, lying and drinking myself into straightness for years, and I thought this is just more of the same, and I can't – I can't live like that.
I didn't want my girls to grow up and not know who I was. It did take me another four years, and I had been in – I had gotten in a relationship with a woman who I thought was worth coming out for, and I thought, “This is the time, if anyone asks…”
And my youngest daughter, she said, “Hey, you know the lady – your friend” – I think she called her “your friend” – “I think she really likes you,” and I said, “Yeah, I think she does.”
She goes, “No, I like I think she likes you, likes you.”
And I go, “What do you mean?”
She goes, “I think she likes you like a girlfriend.”
And I said, “Yeah, Hannah. She does.”

She goes, “Did you just become gay?”
So, I tried to explain, “No, I didn't become – I've always been like this,” and I said, “I just didn't know how to come out, and I didn't want to hurt you, and I didn't want to, you know, mess up your life.”
She teared up, and I'm like, “Oh no, I've devastated her. I'm going to ruin her life.”
And I said, “Are you okay?”
And she goes, “Yeah.” She goes, “I'm sad.”
She said, “I'm sad that you had to, like, be by yourself for that long,” and it was the sweetest thing.
She said, “if I was, if you were my age, I would be your friend, and I would tell you, ‘It's okay.’”
And I thought, you know, “That's all I ever wanted.”