![Carol Snively, a queer woman and former President of The Center Project who came out in her 30s, stands on the building’s steps on Thursday, Dec. 19, 2024, in front of The Center Project in Columbia. “Because she was so likeable, everyone loved Ellen [DeGeneres]. She was so funny, and so I think it did help family members, although it took me a while to tell every one of my family members. I was very nervous about [coming out] for very silly reasons that didn’t end up being a need to be fearful. They’re all very accepting. It just took me a long time. But yes, having people in the public eye that were out—because after she came out lots of other people started saying what their identities were,” Snively said. “And so the fact that there were celebrities who were starting to talk about things and normalize identities, I think that really helped for me. It didn’t change who I was, but it made it easier for me to verbalize who I was.”](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/6ed5c50/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1750x1143+0+0/resize/840x548!/format/webp/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F2b%2Fbd%2F94ba4fa54eb5a2335f025df8de94%2F20241219-bas-queer-joy-carol-snively-0054.jpg)
Carol Snively is a queer woman in her 60s, and spoke about the birth of the Center Project, mid-Missouri’s LGBTQ+ community center.
Alphabet Soup shares LGBTQ+ Missourians’ stories through portraiture and personal narratives.
Carol Snively: So, I was a slow burn in this regard.
Laughter
It took me a very long time to figure things out, and then once I came out — I came out loud and strong, and there's been no turning back.
As time goes on, the history of a community gets lost, but also because of the type of community we are — a college town and people coming in and leaving — I think that there are few of us that remain, that have sort of a longer view, so I want to make sure that that history doesn't get lost.
So, the reason the Center Project had become an important thing for the community to embrace was that PRISM, the local community-based Gay-Straight Alliance needed a place to meet on a regular basis.
PRISM was formed after the murder of Matthew Shepard prior to my arrival in Columbia. A group of youth and young adults met in Peace Park to process that experience, and they kept meeting every week in Peace Park to provide support and encouragement to each other.
From there, PRISM moved to meeting in one of the local churches, but one week, the kids were interested in drag — they wanted to perform, and, you know, there they were youth and most drag shows occur, at that point in time, in bars.
![Carol Snively, a queer woman and former President of The Center Project who came out in her 30s, stands on the building’s steps on Thursday, Dec. 19, 2024, in front of The Center Project in Columbia. “Because she was so likeable, everyone loved Ellen [DeGeneres]. She was so funny, and so I think it did help family members, although it took me a while to tell every one of my family members. I was very nervous about [coming out] for very silly reasons that didn’t end up being a need to be fearful. They’re all very accepting. It just took me a long time. But yes, having people in the public eye that were out—because after she came out lots of other people started saying what their identities were,” Snively said. “And so the fact that there were celebrities who were starting to talk about things and normalize identities, I think that really helped for me. It didn’t change who I was, but it made it easier for me to verbalize who I was.”](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/69caa37/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1750x975+0+0/resize/560x312!/format/webp/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F2b%2Fbd%2F94ba4fa54eb5a2335f025df8de94%2F20241219-bas-queer-joy-carol-snively-0054.jpg)
So, we arranged for a couple of the local drag performers to come to a PRISM meeting, dress up the kids in makeup and clothing and wigs, and I photographed the event for them so that they could have documentation of it for themselves.
Each youth that was involved in that put on one performance, and then we all listened and encouraged them.
While we were doing this, some individuals who were renting space from the church and living in the basement of this church, as well, came through and were not happy about that, and so, they reported it to the church elders.
And the next week, when we went to meet in that same space, their key had been changed, and they were locked out of the space and not welcome any longer.
And that was very hurtful for the kids and for the adults in the community as a whole, and so, we decided then that that can't happen anymore.
And so, we found another temporary space through the city of Columbia where we could meet, but it was very cramped and small, and then we started working very hard to open a community center.
Really, for me, that's what queer joy is — is each of us coming together in one way or another to take care of each other. It's about people coming together to support each other and being happy, healthy, uniquely themselves.
![Trent Rash sits at his piano on Monday, April 7, 2025, at his home in Columbia. “[My partner David Hall and I] were at this event for Planned Parenthood, raising money, and it's kind of a desert around here, right? We're so lucky to have it here in Columbia. And I said, ‘Anytime we get together like this in a room, and we are with each other, and we're united and we're laughing, that's what queer joy is.’ And it's so important now because it makes people so upset, which is funny to me, that they — but guess what? Guess who's really unhappy? They are. It's not us. They're just unhappy because they see what we have and they can't. I wish they'd find it for themselves because I think they'd back off,” Rash said. “Queer joy is the fact that people have fully embraced and accepted their authentic self. And that is such a burdenless place that you can't do anything but be joyful, you know? … I see trans people. I see non-binary people. I see bisexual people. I see gays, lesbians. They're just exuding who they are. And so, if you're doing that, that's queer joy. It's the intersection of your authenticity and how you're showing up in the world. And I think when those things align, you're going to be joyful, for anyone.”](https://npr.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/9826378/2147483647/strip/true/crop/1750x1158+0+0/resize/260x172!/format/webp/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fnpr-brightspot.s3.amazonaws.com%2F2b%2F95%2F418b4ac54824a63216062dfd1db2%2F20250407-bas-queer-joy-trent-rash-0282.jpg)
