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Alphabet Soup

What radical courage does it take to love in the face of hate? Through portraiture and personal narratives highlighting joy, belonging, found family and meaningful romantic and platonic relationships, KBIA’s Alphabet Soup challenges the notion that Missouri’s LGBTQ+ community is a monolith.Tucked away within the amalgamation of letters that makes up the LGBTQ+ community and the complex identities each represents is joy: rebellious, resistant, radiant. If you have a story you would like to share, visit https://tinyurl.com/LGBTQJoy or contact news@kbia.org.Created by Bailey Stover.

Julie Rosenfeld on same-sex marriage: ‘The state sanction is just another way of affirming that our love matters.’

KBIA | By Reporter & Photographer: Bailey Stover, Producer: Rebecca Smith, Photo Editor: Nick Sheaffer

Published June 27, 2025 at 12:05 PM CDT

Julie Rosenfeld, an associate professor at the University of Missouri School of Music, stands in her office on Wednesday, May 15, 2024, at the Fine Arts Building in Columbia. “When I was coming out in the 80s, and 90s, I mean, that's what would you called women who were [attracted to the] same sex. You called them lesbians. And, I mean, I love Sappho, the Isle of Lesbos. I thought it was a really great term, as a matter of fact. I liked the term. I thought it was a great way to identify. You know, ‘Jewish, lesbian, violinist.’ Sounds great to me. So, I never shied away from it,” Rosenfeld said. “I'm a baker also. So, ‘Jewish, lesbian, violinist, baker. All those things are important to me. But, I like the term. I think it's a great term. Were that we all were like Sappho.”

It’s been 10 years since same-sex marriage became legal nationwide following the U.S. Supreme Court’s Obergefell v. Hodges decision.

Julie Rosenfeld in Columbia describes herself as a “Jewish lesbian violinist baker.” She and her wife have been together for about 40 years. She spoke about her and her wife’s many weddings – both legal and not.

Alphabet Soup shares LGBTQ+ Missourians’ stories through portraiture and personal narratives.

Julie Rosenfeld: So, we had three ceremonies.

Laughter

So, the first time we got married was in 1992 in Los Angeles, and that was a Jewish ceremony actually.

It was in my sister's backyard, officiated by our wonderful rabbi, Rabbi Sue Levi Elwell, and it was completely not legal.

But we had all the trapping – we had the ketubah, we had the chuppah, we had everything. We the klezmer band. I mean, it was a great Jewish wedding. It was wonderful.

So, then in 2009 I got a job at the University of Connecticut, and, at that point, some of the states were starting to say, “We're going to legalize gay marriage even before the federal government does because we can issue marriage licenses to whoever we want. That's obviously a state thing.”

So, like, you gotta love states’ rights, you know? What can you say?

So, we were in Connecticut. It was one of the states that decided that gay marriage was great. So, we did that in 2009

But before that, we were living in New Jersey, and New Jersey was one of the states that legalized civil unions before they did gay marriage.

So, in 2001 – I don't even remember, you know? When you have three marriages – well three weddings, it's hard to remember all the dates.

But so, we were civil unionized in New Jersey, and then we were legally married by a Justice of the Peace in Storrs, Connecticut.

And then when I came here to the University of Missouri, right after that, showed them our marriage license, they said, “Oh yeah, well, that's fine, you know, we'll honor that. She can be on your benefits, on your health insurance. No problem, you're really married.”

So, legal marriage didn't happen in Missouri until a couple of years later when those Supreme Court decisions came down.

But right away, when that happened, a friend of ours was instrumental in having a big ceremony over at City Hall. All of the gay couples, you know, who were there, who had been married previously came and, you know, got their pictures taken. I still have the picture somewhere.

We got in the Missourian, and, you know, they interviewed us and wanted to know our life stories.

So, you know, we're the people with the histories, obviously, that predate what has happened here in Missouri.

It just makes it easier, you know, when you want to find a partner – whoever it is, you know, the state will recognize it, and I think – it's important because the state sanction, I think, is just another way of affirming that our love matters and that we are not going to be discriminated against in any way.

It's just important. It's important – state acknowledgement of, you know, your union.