Dani Emma Devine & Cheryl Barbero: “I'm just glad I found out who I am, and I'm able to live this.”

KBIA | By Reporter & Photographer: Bailey Stover, Producer: Rebecca Smith, Photo Editor: Nick Sheaffer

Published July 25, 2025 at 2:00 PM CDT

Dani Emma Devine, left, kisses her girlfriend, Cheryl Barbero, on the forehead on Monday, April 22, 2024, outside Barbero’s apartment complex in Columbia. Devine met Barbero through Facebook less than a year ago. The pair chatted briefly online then decided to meet in person at The Center Project, mid-Missouri’s only LGBTQ+ community center. After realizing they had mixed up their dates for The Center Project’s “Lesbians Over 60” gathering, they changed course and opted to share a meal at Ernie's Cafe & Steak House instead. “I’ve never wanted to live more in the last 15 years than I have now since I’ve met Cheryl,” Devine said. “I’m so incredibly happy that it almost puts the definition back in being gay.” “She was just what I was looking for,” Devine continued. “There was so little disagreement about life in general … I don’t know, maybe a 10% or a 5% difference between her opinion and my opinion. And I used to say that the words that she says just as easily could have come from my mouth.”

Dani Emma Devine and Cheryl Barbero are girlfriends in their mid-60s. Dani is a transgender lesbian and Cheryl is pansexual. They spoke about Dani deciding to take action and transition later in life.

Alphabet Soup shares LGBTQ+ Missourians’ stories through portraiture and personal narratives.

Dani Emma Devine: Basically, I was losing my job. My wife, at the time, was not happy. She sensed that I was different, and I was different. I was changing right before her eyes.

And my therapist suggested perhaps I was transgender, and of course, I just rejected [that] because, well, I love women.

So, how the hell could somebody that loves women want to be a woman?

But it's like, my lifestyle and who I am – I don't want to say gentleness, but I mean, I avoid conflict, and it just fits in that this is who I should have been.

So, I was losing my wife, losing my house, losing my job. At the time, she was going to file for divorce. She hadn't yet – but this pretty well clinched it.

It was Thanksgiving 2020, and what happened was, we had the kids there, and I said, “I'm transgender, and I'm going to be transitioning.”

And my middle son, he said, “I knew you weren't like the other dads,” and he said he had to go elsewhere for a male role model – I felt sort of bad about it, but in a way, it felt good, because it's like, “Yes, he saw me for being me.”

Dani Emma Devine and Cheryl Barbero hold hands on Monday, April 22, 2024, while sitting on a bench outside Barbero’s apartment complex in Columbia. The 65-year-old girlfriends wore matching rings in the colors of the lesbian flag as well as matching pink and blue bracelets, the primary colors of the transgender flag. “I’m not afraid to go out and hold Dani’s hand somewhere or give each other a hug and kiss. That’s just who we are. That’s just who I am. I don’t really care what anybody else thinks,” Barbero said. “I like being who I am, and I don’t have any trouble being who I am in front of anybody. I don’t have any trouble holding Dani’s hands, being affectionate. I care about her, and when we’re together, we’re in this little bubble of just the two of us. And it’s like, ‘Oh, are there other people out here? I didn’t notice that.’”

Then after that, I just started taking action on it, and I felt better and better.

Cheryl Barbero: And then Dani told me this story, and I mean, this really made me fall for her a lot more because the way she talked about Barb, her ex-wife – it really touched my heart that she would be so kind and have nothing but nice things to say about, you know, her ex who was divorcing her.

Dani Emma Devine: For a cause, I mean, really.

Laughter

Cheryl Barbero: I mean, I met her after she got divorced, but, you know, that just really struck my heart as a real, genuine person.

If she can talk about her ex this way, and they haven't been divorced very long. I've been divorced for, you know, 30 some years, so, you know, it's okay for me and my ex to be to be friendly, but it's not so common when somebody is first divorced.

Dani Emma Devine: It was one of these things that, actually, my youngest son came out as being gay, probably when he was, like, probably 15, something like that.

And I couldn't understand it because, for one thing, I like women, and I just couldn't understand why somebody would be attracted to a man.

And so, I wasn't real supportive, but ultimately, he's actually somebody that – all my children support me in my decision, but it's hard because it's essentially a loss. They lost their father, really.

I'm just glad who I am, I found out who I am, and I'm able to live this, and I'm so grateful that I have done this.

KBIA News

Dani Emma Devine & Cheryl Barbero: "I needed to find the right person and I finally did."

Bailey Stover

Dani Emma Devine and Cheryl Barbero are girlfriends in their mid-60s – both of whom came out later in life. Dani is a transgender lesbian and Cheryl is pansexual. A few years ago, Cheryl says she nearly gave up on dating all together - but then she met Dani. They spoke about how a mix of love and laughter keeps them young.