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Alphabet Soup

What radical courage does it take to love in the face of hate? Through portraiture and personal narratives highlighting joy, belonging, found family and meaningful romantic and platonic relationships, KBIA’s Alphabet Soup challenges the notion that Missouri’s LGBTQ+ community is a monolith.Tucked away within the amalgamation of letters that makes up the LGBTQ+ community and the complex identities each represents is joy: rebellious, resistant, radiant. If you have a story you would like to share, visit https://tinyurl.com/LGBTQJoy or contact news@kbia.org.Created by Bailey Stover.

15-year-old Mike: “I hope people just treat me as a normal person. Just somebody who's trans. Just a guy.”

KBIA | By Reporter & Photographer: Bailey Stover, Producer: Micah Barnes, Photo Editor: Nick Sheaffer

Published October 11, 2024 at 2:16 PM CDT

Mike, who is a transgender 15-year-old highschool student, sits in on his bed on Monday, May 20, 2024, at his home in Columbia. He said he enjoys going on runs, baking and playing Dungeons and Dragons. “A bit of a sign that I might have been trans early on is that every single time I played a game like this, where you got to make your own character, it was always a guy. I think I only, like, once or twice ever played a girl. But, other than that, it was always guys that I played,” Mike said. “Like, my entire life I've always felt more comfortable with masculine clothing. I was always a tomboy growing up. I always had guy friends. I never liked any sort of dress or skirt. I always just thought it was a tomboy. But then I realized, ‘Oh, I like being a boy more than I like being a girl.’ … I have a binder—actually, I have two binders—but whenever I wear them, I feel just more comfortable in who I am. Even when I'm alone, if I wear it, I just feel this kind of warmness in my chest like, ‘This is who I am. This is what feels right for me.’ And, it just feels great.”

Mike is a 15-year-old transgender high schooler. He spoke about his relationship with his mom and about some of his hopes for the future.

Alphabet Soup shares LGBTQ+ Missourians’ stories through portraiture and personal narratives.

Mike: I feel like I've been questioning since like, around seventh grade, but I hadn't really come out until somewhat recently, I think two years ago now.

I remember the exact day, or around the exact day, because it's on Mother's Day, and I've been really fortunate to have a supportive family. She says to this day that that was the best gift I ever gave her – was trusting her enough to tell her that.

And I think I had a few half coming out where I maybe suggested the idea to my mom, but it wasn't anything solid like it was on Mother's Day.

I've just always had a great relationship with my mom. I think she's one of my favorite people in the world, and she's always told me, like, “Hey, you can always tell me anything if you need to.”

"You can still be happy without medication or without healthcare. I would certainly like it, but I'm making do without it, and I’m still happy with how I am most of the time."

Mike

And we just had, we're having that conversation, and an opportunity opened up, and I guess I just took it because I knew, no matter what, that she loves me.

And I just want to say there is no one correct way to be trans. It's all right to wait a while to come out. It's probably for the best. If you aren't sure if your situation is safe.

Try to find spaces where being like that is accepted, like, maybe even spaces on the internet. You can find all sorts of communities online. Try and find safe spaces and just hang in there.

I enjoy thinking past high school. It gets me excited for the future, but I most certainly want to leave Missouri at some point. There's just nothing really for me here.

I want to go up north. I want to live in Minnesota, I think, because that's, first of all, very trans accepting, and also, I just like it more.

I have family up there. I've been to Minneapolis. It's just a nice place.

Being in Missouri, there is anti-trans legislation, so I don't have access to any gender-affirming health care.

You can still be happy without medication or without healthcare. I would certainly like it, but I'm making do without it, and I’m still happy with how I am most of the time.

I've never felt too uncomfortable about it, because, again, I surround myself with good people, and I know a lot of other trans people – trans and generally LGBT people.

Mike holds his transgender pride flag dog tag-style necklace, which he wears almost every day, on Monday, May 20, 2024, at his home in Columbia. “Normally I wear it under my shirt, but it helps me remember my community. I got it from a booth while at my first pride fest where I was out as me,” Mike said. “Having a little chain adds to masculinity. … I don't know why, it just does. It's very helpful.”

At least I am in Columbia, and Columbia, out of all the places in Missouri, is a pretty accepting city. My life would be completely different if I lived just like, 30 minutes away.

If you have a trans person in your life and you want to know how to best support them – just, try your best to do what they ask. Like, don't get too upset if you accidentally misgender them. Just be sure to apologize and try your best to get it to get it right next time.

Because that's all we're asking for. It's like, “Hey, respect who we are.” If you mess it up sometimes, that's fine. We just want to know that you're trying.

I hope it just becomes more normalized, like, I hope people still just treat me as a normal person. Just somebody who's trans. Just a guy.

KBIA has chosen not to include the last name of sources who are the age of 18.