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What radical courage does it take to love in the face of hate? Through portraiture and personal narratives highlighting joy, belonging, found family and meaningful romantic and platonic relationships, KBIA’s Alphabet Soup challenges the notion that Missouri’s LGBTQ+ community is a monolith.Tucked away within the amalgamation of letters that makes up the LGBTQ+ community and the complex identities each represents is joy: rebellious, resistant, radiant. If you have a story you would like to share, visit https://tinyurl.com/LGBTQJoy or contact news@kbia.org.Created by Bailey Stover.

Macey Hoover: "Learning is a beautiful thing when it comes to these new experiences and this new voice."

Macey Hoover, who is a queer, transgender man, sits on his couch on Wednesday, May 22, 2024, at his apartment in Columbia. “I love that queer is an umbrella because in my experience and for me, some days I feel like a little feminine boy, and some days I feel like a really masculine boy, and some days I just want to ignore what my gender euphoria or dysphoria is telling me. And I love that I can kind of be on the spectrum and not just sit there, and I can feel whichever way I want, which I don't think is necessarily easy for everybody. But that's why I love that's why I love ‘queer’ because it really can mean whatever I want it to mean. And that's important to me because, again, nobody else has experienced what I have, and nobody else can tell me how I feel,” Hoover said. “When I have a student come to me and say, ‘Hey, I think I want to go by this name,’ or ‘Hey, I don't use those pronouns anymore,’ that’s queer joy. They felt comfortable enough—in a way that I didn't get to experience as a middle schooler or junior high kid—they felt comfortable enough telling somebody. And even if I'm not the first person that they told, they're able to do that. And at least with me, they're safe with it. I'm going to do whatever I can to make sure that they know that they're acknowledged and they're accepted.”
Bailey Stover/KBIA
Macey Hoover, who is a queer, transgender man, sits on his couch on Wednesday, May 22, 2024, at his apartment in Columbia. “I love that queer is an umbrella because in my experience and for me, some days I feel like a little feminine boy, and some days I feel like a really masculine boy, and some days I just want to ignore what my gender euphoria or dysphoria is telling me. And I love that I can kind of be on the spectrum and not just sit there, and I can feel whichever way I want, which I don't think is necessarily easy for everybody. But that's why I love that's why I love ‘queer’ because it really can mean whatever I want it to mean. And that's important to me because, again, nobody else has experienced what I have, and nobody else can tell me how I feel,” Hoover said. “When I have a student come to me and say, ‘Hey, I think I want to go by this name,’ or ‘Hey, I don't use those pronouns anymore,’ that’s queer joy. They felt comfortable enough—in a way that I didn't get to experience as a middle schooler or junior high kid—they felt comfortable enough telling somebody. And even if I'm not the first person that they told, they're able to do that. And at least with me, they're safe with it. I'm going to do whatever I can to make sure that they know that they're acknowledged and they're accepted.”

Macey Hoover is 25-year-old trans man and a dedicated singer. He spoke about beginning the process of medically transitioning and how he’s adapting to his changing voice.

Alphabet Soup shares LGBTQ+ Missourians’ stories through portraiture and personal narratives.

Macey Hoover: Music has gotten me through every step in this journey since I was a child, like, I think I was, for a lack of better words, singing before I could speak in a lot of ways,

My parents met through music, so music's always been a really big part of who I am and who I was meant to be.

Transitioning and my voice changing – there have been a lot of harder moments, actually, I was worried to start medically transitioning because I didn't want my voice to change.

Once I was in the last few years of my college experience, and last year even – my first year being a teacher – like, I was just, like, extremely happy with where my voice was, and really confident, and that's a big deal to me.

Laughter

"I was worried to start medically transitioning because I didn't want my voice to change."

I would say it's a big deal to singers.
'
Just like – I don't know. It's not, it's not even just music, and I don't want this to sound selfish or self-absorbed in any way, but like I –

Physically singing brings me happiness and being able to hear myself for my own pleasure and joy, be able to hit specific notes and sing certain songs and hit certain runs and do all that stuff – brought me just like happiness and accomplishment.

And medically transitioning, you're going through a second puberty, and so, my voice has dropped so so much over the last 10 months.

But there’s still – and there will continue to be for a long time – voice drops and voice changes and voice cracks with all of that.

One of my experiences at school this year [has] kind of put music on a back burner, in a way for me, because I try to sing through those voice cracks, I try to still sing songs that I could sing before my transition and stuff –

And I wouldn't say, I'm not, like, upset or discouraged by that, but it's not as fun for me to, like, not accomplish that, you know, octave riff or whatever.

So, it's like, there's some grief, in a way, grief letting go of stuff like that and acceptance, and then also, just like, learning is a beautiful thing too when it comes to these new experiences and this new voice.

And, I don't know, there's been a lot of cool things, and there'll continue to be a lot of things that I learn, and I'm also a very goal-oriented person, so the range that I had before could come back if I work on it.

It's just like any other body part, muscle – if you're able to stretch and like, you know, warm up and work those things out and stuff, it'll get easier the more that you do it.

Macey Hoover holds a cross stitch of a trans pride flag bearing his name on Wednesday, May 22, 2024, at his apartment in Columbia. “My friend Tim, another queer music teacher in Columbia, made it for me. He was one of the first people I told when I came out and felt safe enough to tell because he himself was queer, but I had also watched him encourage and support his students in their identities as well,” Hoover said. “Music has gotten me through every step in this journey. Since I was a child, I think I was, for lack of a better word, singing before I could speak in a lot of ways. … So music’s always been a really big part of who I am and who I was meant to be, I believe.”
Bailey Stover/KBIA
Macey Hoover holds a cross stitch of a trans pride flag bearing his name on Wednesday, May 22, 2024, at his apartment in Columbia. “My friend Tim, another queer music teacher in Columbia, made it for me. He was one of the first people I told when I came out and felt safe enough to tell because he himself was queer, but I had also watched him encourage and support his students in their identities as well,” Hoover said. “Music has gotten me through every step in this journey. Since I was a child, I think I was, for lack of a better word, singing before I could speak in a lot of ways. … So music’s always been a really big part of who I am and who I was meant to be, I believe.”

Bailey Stover is a multimedia journalist who graduated in May 2024. She is the creator and voice of "Alphabet Soup," which runs weekly on KBIA.
Kenzie Ripe is a senior at the University of Missouri School of Journalism studying cross-platform editing and producing. This semester, she's producing for KBIA's Alphabet Soup.
Rebecca Smith is an award-winning reporter and producer for the KBIA Health & Wealth Desk. Born and raised outside of Rolla, Missouri, she has a passion for diving into often overlooked issues that affect the rural populations of her state – especially stories that broaden people’s perception of “rural” life.
Nick Sheaffer is the photo editor for KBIA's Alphabet Soup. He graduated with a Bachelor's in Journalism from the University of Missouri in May 2024.
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