It’s just after 9 a.m. on Friday, Oct. 23, and Jolie Foreman is running around the United Methodist’s Fellowship Hall in Shelbina, Mo. She’s coordinating a small group of volunteers who are putting the final touches on this year’s “Grit Kits.”
“We've got the allergy medicine, ibuprofen, these tick keys that are awesome,” Foreman said. “Window cloth, popcorn — got to have your dude wipes, sunglasses, little chapstick, a band-aid pack — got to have baby Jesus. It's my favorite.”
Foreman is the co-founder and executive director of Shelby County Cares, a local non-profit that works to combat firearm suicide in the county. According to the Missouri Department of Health & Senior Services, the county has one of the worst rates of firearm suicides in the state – despite having a population of less than 6,000 people.
Foreman said the organization is for community farmers and by community farmers, as she and her husband come from longtime farming families and have seen the devastating impact of suicide firsthand.
Shelby County Cares was founded in 2023 with the goal of bringing more mental healthcare to the community, as well as changing the conversation — or often, lack thereof — about mental health and suicide.
“I really want to be that support before we ever come to that crisis point,” Foreman said. “It takes time. It's planting that little seed, but we have had seven different people come into care and go into therapy services because of just these grit kits as being an entry point.”
She said they have hired three therapists to work in Shelby County, but they’ve also created events and opportunities that are more unique to their agricultural community, such as meal prep events for farm spouses, open conversations about safe gun storage and Feed the Farmer.
This is the third year of Feed the Farmer, a one-day, large-scale distribution of hot meals to farmers throughout the region.
Foreman said they delivered 100 meals in the first year. Last year, that grew to 250 meals. And this year, the goal was to prepare and deliver 500 meals to nine distribution sites in the county.
Each of those meals, she said, will be accompanied by handmade thank you notes from area school children and the grit kits, which includes supplies and literature about mental health resources that can be useful during the stressful harvest season.
“They feed and fuel the world, so the least we could do is provide them with a thank you meal," Foreman said.
The stress of harvest
Dr. Michael Rosmann is a fourth-generation farmer and a psychologist based in southwest Iowa. He calls himself a “farmer psychologist.”
He said harvest season, which typically runs from September through November, is one of the most demanding and dangerous times in a farmer’s year. During those few months, row crop farmers often have to pull 12+ hour days, getting little rest and spending most of their time separated from their families and support systems.
“Research shows that the highest rate of self-destructive behaviors is during planting and harvest, and that makes sense,” Rosmann said.
He stressed that this isn’t necessarily due to suicide, but instead to the combination of factors, including sleep deprivation, isolation, tight deadlines and stress leading farmers to make riskier decisions, which can have fatal consequences.
Rosmann said he knows of farmers who have gotten into car accidents, fallen into manure pits, and even one who rushed to clear the rolls of his combine and was killed when the hydraulic system failed.
“We need to make sure that we don't allow them to avoid proper rest. Getting adequate sleep is critical these days, and I say these days, I mean, these days of harvest,” Rosmann said. “The harder we work, the better we got to sleep … The more we need to talk, the more we need to pray, the more we need to take a little break now and then.”
Jolie Foreman in Shelby County said it’s these exact stressors and this increased risk that led them to pick fall harvest as the time for Feed the Farmer.
She said this stress is something her own family knows well, as she and her husband both work off-farm jobs, have multiple kids to care for — and still have to get all their crops harvested before winter hits.
“Every year we try to be done by Thanksgiving. That's always the goal is to be done by Thanksgiving,” Foreman said. “We've had several breakdowns this year, and then it's rained when we were able to get up and run, and that's still the goal. But there was one year; it was almost Christmas, and it's like, man, that makes for a very long season. And it also, you know, we miss out on that time at home.”
She said the lunches are designed to be a breather for the entire family — a moment to sit down, take a break and enjoy being together.
“I want to envision the spouse, the whole family out there eating in the field together. Give the person that's in the kitchen cooking the day off, the opportunity to just enjoy that meal and not have dishes,” Foreman said.
It’s now nearly 4 p.m. and the hundreds of grit kits have been driven to their distribution sites. The lunch bags sit half ready, full of non-perishables such as chips, beef sticks and cookies.
Foreman said early the next morning, dozens of volunteers will come together to finish the hot meal prep. But, for now, a night of rest.
Feed the Farmer
There aren’t enough baked beans.
Jolie Foreman and Amanda Strange, Shelby County Care’s Community Engagement Director, are running around the shared kitchen, throwing canned beans and barbecue sauce into a large saucepan.
They’re just two of the dozens of volunteers who’ve been working since before 8 a.m. to put the last touches on the day’s lunches — making pulled pork sandwiches, dishing baked beans and putting containers of coleslaw into the half-prepared lunch bags.
The sheriff arrives, along with some of his staff, to transport meals to distribution sites including Clarence, Leonard, Emden, Novelty and Shelbina.
“We care about you. I'm one of you. We know how hard it is,” Foreman said. “You got to take care of yourself. A healthy mind, you know, really is a foundation to a healthy farming operation.”
As noon approaches, the meals head out the door and farmers begin to arrive at distribution sites to pick up their lunches.
In Shelbyville, a town of just more than 500, Creighton Gaines drives up to collect three meals — for himself, his dad and his son. The three had already cleared 35 acres of corn that day, but with more than 1,000 acres of crop to harvest, they’re hoping to jump to the next field directly after lunch.
“We're just getting started. We're just having fun,” Creighton said. “We're not wore down yet, you know, slow and steady wins the race. You get in a hurry, you start tearing stuff up, and accidents happen.”
Creighton runs Gaines Farms alongside his father, Dennis. He said there are a lot of stressors that come with farming, such as worrying about harvest yields, the weather, crop prices — and last year, during harvest, it all started to get the best of him.
“A lot of people, I think, thought I was sitting there with a gun to my head, but that wasn't the case. But that's where I was headed, and I knew it. And that's not somewhere I wanted to go,” Gaines said. “And I was running out of ways on my own to stop that ... so that's what propelled me to get help.”
He posted on Facebook, and some of the first people to reach out were from Shelby County Cares, who quickly got him connected to care and into therapy. He says having someone show him that he mattered to the community made a huge difference.
“If I hadn't reached out for help, I don't know where I would be today. Might not even be here,” Creighton said. “But there's people that need me, people that depend on me, and you just put your head down, plug away, and not be afraid to talk to someone if you're having hard times and feeling down.”
Since then, he said he’s become comfortable asking for help, and he’s sure to check in on his neighbors and friends when they are facing challenges.
He said that he appreciates the work that Shelby County Cares has done — making it less taboo to discuss farm stress and the way it impacts mental and behavioral health.
“It’s a great service, and mental health is definitely something that's not talked about enough. You know, is that a crutch? No. Is it something that's real? Yeah, and it's worth talking about because it just makes you feel better,” Creighton said. “It just makes a big difference. It just gives you some more spark in life and more reasons to just keep going.”
Just down the road from the Gaines’ fields, Mark Wilson sits high in a combine, looking out at acres of soybeans. He said if they get to 50 acres in a day, they’re “doing dang good,” but with 1,250 acres to harvest — he’s already a little stressed.
He said their operation runs lean — his 81-year-old dad watches to ensure everyone is safe, but can’t operate the heavy machinery anymore. One of his sons is a junior in high school and helps when he can around his school and sports schedules. And they occasionally hire part-time help.
Wilson said this leads to some very long days alone in the combine.
“We're by ourselves basically, you know, 10 or 12 hours a day,” Wilson said. “And whether things are going great or whether things are going bad, you’re always thinking and second guessing and wondering if what you're doing is the right thing or not. [It] can kind of weigh on a person, and Shelby County Cares came about to help out with those things.”
He said the pulled pork sandwich and baked beans from Feed the Farmer were “doggone good." But more than anything, he said it’s nice to know that he’s appreciated and that help is there if he, or any of his fellow Shelby County farmers, needs it.
There are already plans for Feed the Farmer to return — and grow — during next year’s harvest. Staff said they hope to potentially provide 1,000 meals to even more farmers throughout northeast Missouri.
You can access a full version of the radio script — here.
